Ever feel like a phony?

Do you ever work really hard at something and feel really good about it, but the moment you stop investing in continual learning and improving yourself in the subject (because you are distracted by other things), the more you feel like a phony and less legit? That’s kind of how I feel about singing these days.

It’s weird. Like, I know I have singing skills and knowledge given I’ve been performing and studying since I was 4, but my focus this past year has been on healing and rebuilding my life and my other career in the government, which has been really, really busy, to say the least. I haven’t put the time I would have liked into singing.

Now it’s fall, in Canada I might add – very different from Maryland! 😨 I love teaching and singing and I want to keep doing it because it feeds my soul, but I feel like because I haven’t done as much as I used to that I’m a bit out of practice. My skills are a bit dusty and not as legit as they used to be. Am I the only one who thinks this way?

I have an audition coming up soon and my anxiety is a little high having done very few auditions this past year. My voice feels different now that I’ve healed and come through the personal storm and to be honest, I’m still trying to find my identity as a singer. It’s such a vulnerable activity and so subjective, and finding guidance in a new place can be tricky. Life is looking up, but things are a bit unclear musically and I’m a little terrified. Lol… At least I’m honest? 😁

Anyhow, just wanted to share my feelings and fears as I ramp up to my audition. Maybe this is the kickstart I need to get back on the horse and start singing regularly again. And to face my fears and realize everything is still there… Fingers crossed. 🙂 I guess it’s like anything – running, basketball, etc. The more time you put into action and improving your skills, the better you’ll be and more confident you’ll become.

Thanks for reading and please let me know if any of this resonates with you!!

❤️ Melly xo